What’s Going On Here?

May 30, 2008

I’ve realized that I have been less perturbed by the news media over the past few months. Sure, they’ve been making it sound like Hillary Clinton wants Obama to be assassinated. That’s a little bit of a stretch, but certainly enough to keep people tuned in, and not enough to send me over the edge.

Then, while standing in a check-out line at the grocery store I realized what it was. I have no idea what’s happening in Britney Spears’ life right now. CNN doesn’t seem to care; neither do any of the other networks. This burden has been lifted from me and I feel so free that I don’t know what to do with myself.

Luckily, every four years there will be a prolonged series of political news stories to distract us from the lives of celebrities…at least until John Edwards executes a successful coup and names himself emperor of both Americas.